The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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