I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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