Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
