I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
