Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize