"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
