I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize