butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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