Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
