If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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