i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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