is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
