I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize