I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
