Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
