I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
