I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
