Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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