I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
