Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
