We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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