Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
