i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My breasts were aching with rage.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
