Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
