Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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