God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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