This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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