a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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