I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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