no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
