need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
