I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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