dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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