Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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