Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
