I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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