Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
