absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
