i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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