i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
this is an emotional support booty call
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
