when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you would pick up someone in the library
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
