I wish i was in the wii world.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
