no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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