I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
