NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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