To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
