wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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