R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
