Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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(352): View more from Florida

Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

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(716): View more from New York

At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.

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