Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
