Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
