I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
