He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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