I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
