Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
