From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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