I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
