You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
