apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize