You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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