Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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