whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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