butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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