OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
