True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
