it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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