the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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