Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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