Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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